Speaking of Lumber

Speaking of the position of lumber in Glory Begun has put me in mind of something along the same line.

In the past I have had dealings with more than one person in a position of respect within the field of Social Services, who have been obviously rspw18possessed of such large sticks of lumber lodged within body cavities that it most certainly should have created great discomfort.  I grant that such people sometimes seem not to mind any inconvenience that such an affliction might cause.  However I feel that it is not so much a matter of choice, as it is that they have probably just become so accustomed to the gross intrusion of lumber into their system that it has become a way of life.  Perhaps it can be compared to long-term victims of torture who have become inured to the pain and discomfort.

On more than one occasion, I have considered suggesting the services of a Colorectal Surgeon, but have refrained, not wishing to call attention to a potentially embarrassing condition.  I ignored the Elephant in the Room.

To be fair, the Social Services field is in no way the only career path that is vulnerable to this particular malady.  It is just the one with which I have most contact.

Sharing this information may be something for which you could not care less, but I appreciate you allowing me to do so.

It is minimally cathartic.


No More Forever


I am tired of speaking my needs and desires to those who propose to help and having the words fall on deaf ears. I speak the thoughts of my spirit when I am asked how I might be helped and the words repeated back to me bear little or no resemblance to what was said. It is as if there is a solidly clogged sound filter between the subject and its object. I am asked incessantly to repeat myself as if nothing that has been said previously has ever been heard. When the echo comes back to me hopelessly garbled, I have rephrased the original until my lips are numb and all to no or ill effect.

This state of affairs is now come to an end. The frustration is no longer bearable and resentment looms heavily in front of me. The time has come to end the problem. I have considered how this might be accomplished in the recent past and even set out to do that which is necessary to stop the maddening dissipation of my spirit. The depression it has driven me to must be relieved.

This time I will not fail. This time my resolve is strong and I will not be swayed by emotion.

Me non dicam ultra in perpetuum

51PPCF-vrGL._UL1500_Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians was once faced with a completely intractable situation which he had tried to fight in every physical way and all to no avail. He was beaten and knew he could not win. He knew that to continue to fight would only bring the complete destruction of all he loved. His words in surrender were very poignant. He said,

I am tired of fighting. . . . I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.

If you wish to communicate with me about my decision to stop communicating, we can do so right here–in this article.  Details about my “needs” or “desires” are completely off the table. Me non dicam ultra.

If it becomes repetitive or just plain tedious, even that will cease.

Doubt me?  Try me.


Absolute Sums

The sum of the experience is not represented by the symbol by which the experience is identified. In other words the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. How is this possible? Does this not say that mathematics is useless? Yes. In many cases it does. In other cases it works just fine.

If what you are seeking in a symbol is the bottom line of a balance sheet in dollars and cents, then the wisdom is to rely on the sum. If you are counting the number of sheep in widely separated flocks, then the sum of the parts is completely sufficient.

However, if you are seeking a sum of the benefits or detriments of the positive or negative result of the balance sheet, then more—much more—than the gross total must be taken into account.

If you seek to measure in any worldly way the sum benefits of days spent in church, the number of prayers offered up, or the measure of works performed in the name of God, then you may very well come up with an actual number, but you will be badly mistaken in the final calculation, because it is not possible to calculate such a figure while you are still sucking wind, and it is not you who makes the final tally.

The score-keeper is God. Any actions attempting to come to a figure that does not take the final score-keeper into account will result in a null value. The works or actions in the balance sheet must be prefaced by a faithful understanding that it is not you who initiates the action. If you are doing it right, then you will do it because you must. The score-keeper is the initiator—you are merely the agent. If they are initiated by you, then the total rings up as invalid in the eternal sense. You lose.

It is a law of infinite (immeasurable) absolutes.

Count on it.


Lack of Sufficient Fiction

Although it might be mistaken as such, it is not poetry.  It is not romance.  It hints at mystery, but falls far short.  It suffers from a lack of sufficient fiction.  As fact, it masquerades without flattery and with no illusion that anyone can possibly be fooled.  What is the masquerade?  He is not sure.

It is his life.  It is full of heartbreak, remorse, and unrequited love.  It is of the most common and still unique sort.  He wants to tell it.  He wants to spill his love and his darkest secrets into the ears of someone–anyone–he feels might care.  There are many who will listen for a dollar, but none to care: not one.  For a while there was a suspicion that there was one existing in the mist who was concerned for the agony he suffered.  But now, not so much.  Still he continues on and for no apparent reason.  Should he forge ahead anyway.  The jury is still out.

Too much reality, there is, and certainly insufficient fiction.

Don’t Be Hatin’

Where is the profit in hating those who hate you?

Where is the productivity?

HateQuotesThere is no profit.  There is no productivity.  There is only loss and counter-productivity.  It is debilitating and destructive.  It is a logical contradiction and morally corrupt.  Analyze the Cost/Benefit.  Consult the Spirit inside you.  If the only spirit inside you is your own, then it’s high time you invite one in who will be greater in you than any spirit that is in the world.  *nods*

Hatred engenders only more hatred, but you don’t have to give in to it.  There is an alternative.  That alternative is Love and Forgiveness.

I John 3:15 tells us that anyone who hates is a murderer.  They wish harm and to assassinate character and personality.  In action, they discriminate to deny access to that which they feel is entitled only to themselves.  Has someone committed a crime against society’s laws?  Then try, convict, and sentence them.  Have they committed a crime against God?  We do not live in a Theocracy, s0 we are left with reasoning through the love of God.  Reason, if possible.  Show that hatred is harmful to others and themselves.  Bring the Love of God to them so that they might turn from their hating and hateful ways.  Do not repay evil with evil.

That is not Justice.  It is Revenge.  Revenge is never justified.  The way to overcome Evil is with Good.

If you need some assurance that not only is hatred and revenge not the answer but that the offender will be brought to justice, then take to heart the words of Paul in Romans 12:19 where he tells us,

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay . . ..'”

Finally Jesus tell us, in Matthew 5:43-45

“You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in Heaven.”

Please, for the sake of all of us–for GOD’S SAKE–don’t be hatin’.


0245 to 1115


What do you do when your service provider goes down in the wee hours of the morning?

I play a game or two on the computer where

Hey Kid! The First One’s Free!

I futz around in my Excel budget file and look at how much money I don’t have and how it has to be spent. I check the connection again.

I play another game or so and get aggravated that I don’t win as often as I’d like.

Then I check the connection again.

I curse Comcast, realizing in hindsight that it’s too late. They are already cursed.

I walk outside and smoke a cigarette because I can’t smoke inside. Adultery is permitted. Smoking is not. I wouldn’t commit adultery—I’m just saying . . . ya know?

Sure you do. I think you’re with me so far. Right? Say “Right.” Humor me, please. I’m in a fragile state at the moment. Thanks.

I contemplate committing adultery, and I contemplate introducing my modem to my cane.  I do neither, because while all things are permitted, not all things are profitable.  Sure.  That’s the reason.

I check what I have written wrote so far and correct for passive voice.

Then I check the connection. I notice an oncoming headache, and preemptively strike with a Tylenol.

I wonder just how bored I am to write such drivel? I start looking at the clock more often? 0430? Good Lord!

I go for another smoke and hope to see Popeye by the door. Who’s “Popeye?” Guess.

Before I go outside to poison myself, I pause to check the connection. CRAP!

Thinking that perhaps my provider is just shy and is waiting for me to leave the room to turn itself back on, I immediately check it upon returning from my smoke. Nope.

I reset the modem for the fourth time. With extreme and express ennui, I watch the modem lights blink until they become steady—still nothing . . .

I practice my diction and spitball big words without a hard-copy dictionary as a safety net. Why?


Did I take that Tylenol? I’ll be right back. O.K. Thanks for waiting. I think I’ll pay a visit to the Crazed Writer’s Room and lie down for a moment or two . . . or three . . .. (But consecutively not concurrently) Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic.

The InterNET is not a real net.


0600.  The recording promised 0600. It’s 0601. Still nothing and I am wondering how much longer I can justify this article and how the hell I’m going to end it.

Like this is as good and true as any.

Thanks for listening to my early morning rambles.


The Meaning of Words

Words, in every language, have meaning.  It’s why we have dictionaries, you know?  Sometimes we hear or read a word and are not sure we know thewords1-300x199 meaning, so it helps to go to a dictionary (or Google) and check it out.

I’m NOT trying to be cute.

As a writer, words are very very important to me.  Their usage and precise meaning is vital to what I do and the difference between doing it well or sucking at it.  How do I know when I am sucking at it?  When my meaning is unclear or incomprehensible to others.  Now sometimes it isn’t my fault.  Communication, by definition, requires more than one person.  I may be making myself perfectly clear, and the other person isn’t on the same wavelength.  Maybe they just don’t care enough to make the effort at comprehension or . . . whatever.  In that case, once I realize that I am not getting through, I will often try to rephrase my meaning, or if it plainly is a case of disinterest on the part of the listener (or reader)  I will shrug and change the subject or simply just walk away.

There is a host of other aspects to communication breakdown besides meaning that can radically alter the efficiency of the process.  There is context, connotation, tone and more that I don’t feel like listing now.  Those other facets are not the main purpose of this article.  The main purpose is in the title.  It is the problem when we ignore the simple fact that words have meanings.

If I tell you that I like something, don’t come back to me later (or report it to someone else) that I said I loved it.  If I tell you that I dislike something, don’t come back later and quote me as saying that it disgusts me.  If I love something, then I’ll say so.  If something disgusts me, I’ll do likewise.  Love and disgust are very strong emotions (see Don’t Make Me Mad!) and as such they deserve, nay DEMAND, expression as such.  It’s a major Pet Peeve of mine and definitely a product of my avocation as a writer.

But be a Mensch and don’t diss anyone this way–writer or not . . ..  Remember that good old Golden Rule, eh?

I think I have that out of my system now.

Thanks for letting me share.